Online Hookups & Porn

Online Cruising & Hook-up Tips

Treat the guys you meet with the same respect you would like to receive. This will help ensure you are more satisfied. Here are some guidelines that can help you hook-up in a more fulfilling and safer way:

• Check in with any sexual partners who seem out of it. Does the guy in the middle of the gang bang you just joined seem like he is incoherent? Out of it? Passed out? Ask him if he’s ok? Is he still into whatever is going on?
• Be sober at the time of cruising and arranging your hook up. Are you looking to Top? Preparing to Bottom? Attracted to the guy you are messaging while you are sober? Tina can have us make sexual choices we feel bad about later.
• Be prepared to hook up imminently, as most guys are looking for right now. If you’re want to host at your place, make sure your place looks like how want it to before logging on. Avoid being a cyber-tease. It’s considered very rude.
• Be honest if you are NOT looking for Tina Sex: It’s ok to want to take a break. Be clear about this however. Cruising on BBRT while saying you are not looking for PnP is misrepresenting yourself. Profiles with capitalised T’s, e.g. looking to parTy, or reference the words point, or clouds, are giveaways that he is looking for Tina.
• Douching: If you want to get ass-fucked, clean yourself before hooking up. For basics on anal douching, click here.
• Set limits on chatting and cruising time before you go online, as you can waste more time than we intended online, especially if you are also looking at porn. Consider setting an alarm if you don’t want to fall into a cruising-porn hole.
• Post only the truth, use recent photos. If it’s 5 or more years old, it’s not a good photo to use and can lead to mutual disappointment. Do not use fakes or other people’s images.
• Be cautious about sharing nudes when high. You may regret how widely you shared dick pics attached to your face when you were high, once you are sober.
• Plan your safer sex strategy prior to hooking up. Undetectable Viral Load? PrEP? Sero Sorting? Communicate this to your hook up partners. Repeat it in email or chat before meeting. One you use Tina, it’s easy to forget it all.
• Communicate the kind of sex you are looking for, with how many partners, and time spent on mobile devices. It can be an unpleasant surprise to arrive at a hook-up, to find your hook-up partner texting to invite more partners over, or who is texting mid-fuck!
• State what activities turn you on, and what ones you aren’t looking for up front, e.g. piss play, smoking, fisting, kink, BDSM, daddy-son, dom-sub, kissing, vanilla, roleplay, topping or bottoming etc.
• Don’t be a predator. Be firm and stick to your limits. Respect your partner and don’t pressure him to abandon his. That’s being a predator.
• Consent is an ongoing process, especially when when drugs are involved. Keep checking in when you change to different sexually activity, and as you imbibe more drugs.
• Let a friend know where you are going. Have a friend check-in. While it’s rare, men in Toronto’s gay community have disappeared and gone missing after anonymous hook-ups.
• No Stigma: STIs and HIV are a normal part of sex in the 21st century, and so is telling sexual partners when you have them
• Be clear if you don’t want sex, and are just looking for a buddy to use Tina with.
• Let other people make their own decisions about using or not using. Do not seek out men to introduce to Tina. That’s predatory.
• Don’t play games. Show up if you’ve agreed to meet or call if you change your mind or are late.
• STOP – Stop, Thinks, Options, Plan. If you get there, and things aren’t going to work for whatever reason, STOP. Stop what you are doing, step out of the room, and make a plan to leave. Tell your partner that for whatever reason, it’s just not going to work. Feel comfortable with this line. If it’s not going to work for you, this is a casual hook up, and no further explanations are needed. Smile and deliver your line with politeness. Stick to your guns if he insists you stay, and walk away without being rude.
• Be prepared for rejection. It happens all the time. If you ask why, be prepared to hear the answer, and don’t assume that it will be delivered tactfully or with grace especially if he’s also high. Receive rejection without snapping or being mean. It’s about them, not you at this moment.
• Be grateful. Tina can make us impatient and impulsive. Sexual climax is not an excuse to just leave without saying anything. Express some level of gratitude before you go.